I have always been a perfectionist, but it wasn’t until about 6 years ago, that I really understood how this mental malady was wreaking havoc on my life. Still, awareness alone wasn’t enough to turn me into an easy-going, go-with-the-flow, realistic goal-setter, mistake-forgiver type of person. I felt powerless to overcome perfectionism’s relentless hold on me.
Eventually, I came to view my perfectionism as a chronic condition in need of management and care. It might go into “remission” for a while, then flare-up. Occasionally, I will an experience acute episode and really have to take therapeutic measures. I now consider myself “in recovery”, a state that requires vigilance, self-care, and self-awareness.
Buy I can’t do it alone.
That is why I was so excited to discover a terrific book called, The Seven Secrets of the Prolific: The Definitive Guide to Overcoming Procrastination, Perfectionism, and Writer’s Block by Hillary Rettig. Hillary shows how perfectionism is more than a “destructive habit or way of thinking”. Her book demonstrates perfectionism’s toxic effects on your view of “yourself, your work, and the world.”
As soon as the author began describing the characteristics and behaviors of perfectionists, my eyes popped. Hey, this woman really knows me! I downloaded the 182 -page book in the summer and still haven’t finished it (and that is okay!). Rettig’s book is not meant to be read in one sitting. It is a step-by-step guide and you don’t go to the next step until you have made progress. There are clear steps to take, exercises to do, behaviors to practice, and practical changes to make. I was going to wait until I finished to blog about this wonderful book, but every page of her book just keeps getting better. So, I thought I’d share it with you today, and then write about my progress in future blogs.
By the way, this book is aimed at writers, but anyone who is trying to finish a major project or has difficulty with output due to procrastination will benefit. And speaking of procrastination…did you know that Perfectionism is at its root?
I will leave you with one defining characteristic from Secrets of the Prolific:
“Perfectionists hold unrealistic definitions of success and punish themselves harshly for the inevitable failures.”
Yup, that’s me.
Are you a perfectionist? What tactics have you taken to tame this unruly condition? What guides or programs have you found helpful?